How can you trust that person?

“How can you trust that person?” The question was disturbing me since few days. I couldn’t think anything but this. No, I didn’t want to get rid of it rather I wanted an answer. Although my quest began why I trust that person, gradually it turned ‘why we trust someone?’, what qualities one must own to be trusted?

I was having an argument with one of my friends. We had a different opinion regarding a person and there he asked “how can you trust that person?” I was dumbstruck. I tried to get some answer, but nothing seemed appropriate. I could have evaded by giving an ambiguous answer, but I chose to be quiet. I needed a genuine answer.

I kept reflecting on the topic. I put all my effort in pursuit of an answer. I thought of every person I trust. Out of nowhere an answer popped up in my mind, honesty. Yes, we trust one who is honest. I sighed. But was my problem really solved?? No. On the contrary, it puzzled me more. I trust my parents but have I ever looked into their honesty?! The thought itself is so unusual. Then why I trust my parents? My quest had come and halted where it started from.

I have heard someone asking, “You don’t live with that person for 24×7, then how can you trust?” Does that mean trust comes from living under the same roof or being with each other all the time? Though I didn’t find an answer, the question prompted me to think how much time I devote to myself? I mean to be with myself, to introspect? I was taken aback when I realized that I don’t even have few hours for that! Does it mean I shouldn’t trust myself??!!

People say the utmost goal of life is to discover ‘who am I?’ I have heard people saying ‘steps to discover self’, ‘discover who you are’. According to that, we don’t know who we really are! Then how can we trust ourselves?!

One says, “I know that person since many years. So I can trust.” Does it mean, knowing a person over a long period of time is the reason for trust? Then why do we trust God? I know I trust god, but do I know him? I don’t have any answer for that. Neither I have seen him nor heard from him. Few say, God is everywhere but do we see him in everything? No.
Sometimes we even trust strangers. You might have heard someone saying, “I don’t know why, I just wanted to trust that stranger?”

This is indeed complicated……..
A book said, in order to get an answer we must begin to ask. Along with that patience and persistence are also essential. I didn’t know where my quest was heading to, I just knew I won’t give up. I kept contemplating and after much deliberation something hit my mind.

LOVE…
When I pondered deeply, I found one thing common in every person I trust and that is love!

I trust my parents because I love them, I trust my best friend because I love her. I trust myself because the ups and downs I came through have taught me to love life and love myself.

I trust God. Yes, initially I tried to understand him but he is so mysterious for that and perhaps I’m not so smart enough. Soon I realized that the simplest way is to love him.

But why do we trust strangers? We don’t love them at all. When we trust a stranger, it means we are taking chances on the basis of our intuitions and, needless to say, we trust our intuitions too.

Honesty could be a criterion for trust, I don’t deny it. But I guess not always and not the only one.

There could be exceptions but right now I don’t have a more satisfying answer than this and I wish I could find a reason to love. I think I can conclude it saying, where there is love there is trust.

• Shruti Rao, Sagar

shreevirama@gmail.com