I Murdered him to protect myself.

[dropcap]I[/dropcap]In the state of euphoria, running on the paved path of the road, trying to bat and hit a four. Was I just eight, lured by chocolates and cakes.Life was nothing more than playing all day long. With an anxiety on my face, I saw a man with a big cake and calling me to grab it and have it all by myself. In the greed of having it all alone, I crossed the path and had it all.

“Oh! Wait, what was this dizziness now?”

Not able to stand, that man handled me and I closed my eyes for the time being.

Next time, that I opened my eyes I was in a place devoid of light and encircled by some people with a notorious smile. I shouted out loud to drop me home, my Maa would be waiting and that I should be home. My screams went unanswered and I was beaten to the time I was mum. Along with me were more few kids, asking me to keep quiet and to learn to accept the reality.

But what was the REALITY?

Little did I knew that I was been trafficked for begging on the streets. It was a world full of multitude sins, brought up with the unhealthy and hungered pinched children’s. Alleviating the horrible evils of the reality slowly slowly. It was a region of land with hideous poverty, hideous ugliness, and hideous starvation. Living in an aggravation of the difficulty they were teaching us how to plead in front of people to raise money for them, for us to survive.

It was like a training to make us beg perfectly so as to let us on the streets to cry and eventually die. One day one of them called me up, scared and sweat dripping  down my shirt I went to him while standing under the shelter of wall, he told me I was going to be let out soon and that I would be free, surprised and happy at the same time I was ready to get back home. But then he said I had to do a favor for him before I go, and got a knife in his hand and gave me the most grim smile, while reaching for my hand to cut and throw it away. [pullquote-left] I took the knife from his hand by deceiving him somehow and pierced the knife down his stomach. Blood dripping down and to his heavy breathing, I knew I did something wrong or maybe right but I needed to run. [/pullquote-left] Nothing ran through my mind, I was totally blank, he lied, he lied that he would set me free and there I was again facing the reality. I took the knife from his hand by deceiving him somehow and pierced the knife down his stomach. Blood dripping down and to his heavy breathing, I knew I did something wrong or maybe right but I needed to run. Wrong maybe because I killed someone or right maybe because I saved myself. It was unfair, I was not ready for a life full of sabotage. Tramping about the streets in a state of disgusting misery, whining to people for alms, or crowding round the doors of loathsome shelter to try and secure a hunch of bread and nights unclean lodging, asking everyone to help and to take me to my Maa, I no longer had the strength to survive. Was I a murderer for life?

Was he wrong if he killed/ attacked someone in his own self-defense? Was it his mistake of getting trafficked by luring him with things that he liked? Did he deserve so much of pain at such a small age? With a fragile heart, he was in a shock of seeing a world full of lie.

‘A police cannot stop intruders, murder, smuggler, mugger or a stalker from hurting you. They can pursue him only after he has hurt or killed you. Protecting yourself is no one’s but your responsibility. Self-defense and protecting yourself can be done even with a stone or a divider or a knife or by a gun but only if you realize you yourself are accountable for protecting yourself and no one else.’

A weapon in hand is better than a cop on the phone.

The state will give a capital punishment to all the people involved in the racket which include judge who passes sentence, the correctional officer who delivers the condemned person to the place of execution, but when?.  Only after these man slaughters are caught or if the other person or his family or the private property is damaged. You may repay the damage for the property lost but will you be able to repay the life lost?

Someone questioned me “How can you protect yourself by carrying a knife or a self-defense weapon if you don’t know how to use it?”

“Not me sir, the other people when they see the knife in my hand they don’t attack me” I said

“Yes but if they did lad, you wouldn’t be any good with it.”

I gasped for a breath and said “No sir, I’d probably settle for just ripping their heads off. That’s what I mean by protection sir. Mine not theirs.”

So is Murder right for self-defense?