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What does a relationship asks for and what are we giving back?

 “I am not able to spend time with my family and friends even if I wish to”

– Sounds familiar? Or feels like you have told this sometimes? If yes, then I would like to give a different perspective to your thoughts.

[dropcap]E[/dropcap]Early in life, owning a pencil sharpener was very important, once received, it just ended up in the pencil box. Later, owning a cycle became important and once received, it remained outside the door. And later, having a friend, girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband, sister/ brother, daughter/son became important. Guess what? Today, we tend to do the same what we did a pencil or a cycle with them too!!!

 The love, the passion, the care, the caress, the kiss, the urge to look in the eyes, the moments of missing each other fades away as days in a relationship grows! What has changed in these days? It’s either you or nothing. Yes, it’s for every Individual I would say, if things have gone bad in a relationship, then it’s because of you. A devil’s advocate within would justify saying it’s the other person who has changed or complain of lack of time. But, going back to the drawing board and re-sketching things will make you realize it’s you who have changed at some point.

When you feel your wife does not love you as she did earlier, ask yourselves when was the last time you looked at her eyes and said “I Love you” and kissed her forehead. If you feel your friend is not talking to you, ask yourselves when was the last time you called him and said – “Let’s sit for a drink” or said “what’s happening in your life?” When you feel your brother does not love you as he used to, ask yourselves when was the last time you hugged him and said “I Miss you”. Even when you don’t feel the relationship has a problem, ask yourselves are you still doing all those ‘Special things’ which made your relationship special.

A hug would hardly take a minute, a kiss? – even lesser. None of us are so busy to be unable to spare a minute to do that. If we have a whole night to fight with our ‘once’ dearest ones, then why not take the ego out of ourselves and solve it in a minute? A little compromise and stretching your hand to help your spouse would solve a lot of issues. Help your sibling in solving their sadness and sorrow. Be with your friend when in need. If you can practice this for a few days, nothing can take you back to the deep shit you are currently in.

Rather than crying over the spilled milk, let us show our love to the people who love us. All relationships going well does not mean both are perfect. It might just be one perfect person compromising the not so perfect’s acts. If you are the not so perfect part of a perfect relationship, then try to be the perfect to continue the perfection in the relationship.

We all have reached a state where we have no courage left to speak upfront to our loved ones but need the help [pullquote-left]We all have reached a state where we have no courage left to speak upfront to our loved ones but need the help of our cell phone to do that.[/pullquote-left] of our cell phone to do that. A guy would not dare to say “I smoked again” to his girl on the face but would dare to do the same in a text message. Signs of danger? No? For me, it is. It is because we have lost the courage. We have lost the courage of facing the person. We only dare to face a text message but not the face. So we are simply entering a pseudo world where we have 2 existences for a single person. Yes, the real you and the cell phone you.

For once, it might be tough to say it to your friend that you are in love with someone else or to say it to your wife that you went forward with a girl. It’s like a hi5 you give. Unless there is a right rapport between the two, one of them is going to get a bang on the face. The word you say might worsen the scene if you handle it wrong. But I still feel it’s better to live true for a lifetime than in a false world for half-life. So, if we are not living the way we should live, let’s correct it. If we are living it the way it should be, let’s commit to continue living the same way.

Niranjan M Bhat: An Engineer by profession and a Traveler by passion. Hails from Karavali, loves Malenadu and lives in Bengaluru. Loves travelling, trekking and Riding.
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