I had just finished reading that article for the 2nd time. I sighed. I couldn’t just put it down those few pages I held. Plenty of questions were darting in my mind. I was turning those pages again and again. I felt sorry for the talent which went unnoticed. Finally, I took my eyes off from those pages and asked, “why did she take such an extreme step?”
The article I read was written by a girl who committed suicide around 7-8 years ago. Recently when I visited one of her relatives while talking about the girl she offered me to read that article. After reading, I really felt bad for losing a good writer. She could have guided many through her writings. I asked for the reason, but the relative had no clue. She said that girl was very reserved. She never shared her feeling and desires to anyone. She said that the girl had sent some of her articles to a newspaper which never got published. Though she didn’t write why she chose to end her life, somewhere between her write-ups a line found “if it had been published a life would be saved”
Though I never met that girl, I could grasp the glimpse of her desires from her write-ups. She was different, she didn’t want to go with the flow. Unlike others, she didn’t want a great job, luxurious life. She didn’t get enthralled by city life. Rather she wanted a simple life. It seemed that she liked to be in the midst of nature. She wished to do something for the people of villages. Perhaps she wanted to prove herself, to show what she is and what she can be. But….!!!
I had so many ‘ifs’ in my mind. If only she hadn’t taken such decision, if only she had survived, if only she had waited for the right opportunity to showcase her talent, if only she had opened her heart to someone, if only she had thought of her parents, if only someone had tried to understand the turmoil inside her, if only she had changed her decision before it was too late. Unfortunately my ‘ifs’ found no conclusion.
We take years to realize what we really want from our life, to understand our passion, dreams and to fathom what can make us happy. But even after realizing it we hesitate to express. We think of others, we give much importance to their opinion than our own dreams. At the end, we lock our dreams up permanently and dump it somewhere and follow others unwillingly.
I agree sometimes we must lose in order to gain but not at the cost of life itself!!
Few years back one of my junior met with an accident and died. I was shocked on hearing this. He was a sweet boy I wished if he had got a second chance. Perhaps he had dreamed of achieving something, perhaps he had planned something special for the next day. May be he had plenty of desires and may be procrastinated his unfinished works to coming days. But everything was ruined in an instant. The car which hit him not only killed him but it also brutally killed his dreams and desires. His life was ended because of some other’s fault and he was helpless. I still wish if only he had survived..!! If only he had given the chance to accomplish his dreams which were shattered because of someone else..!! He would have achieved a lot if he wasn’t killed!!! In his last breath he might he might have begged God for his life!!
Whenever I hear of suicides I think of those who are lying in a hospital bed, suffering and vehemently begging God to add one more day to their life. I agree life comes with challenges, ordeals, pain but it also gives joy and happiness and that’s what life is all about. The challenges imposed by life certainly enhance our inner strength. Life is precious and it should be respected.